Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child

There is much literature on how to parent challenging children these days. Unfortunately much of that literature does not typically address the child with special parenting needs and a special parenting understanding. A child that has been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder, oppositional defiant disorder,or even depression, requires an understanding not of the behavior itself,but rather of the underlying dynamics driving the behavior. Take for example the analogy of an iceberg. Typically when we refer to an iceberg we are referring to what we see above the surface. However, 90% of every iceberg is invisible, lying under the surface. What you consider to be an iceberg is really only the tip. It’s an overwhelming thought when considering how enormous an …

Kid Time And Couple Time

Summary: Are you having trouble finding time to be with your children and to be with each other? Discover how important this balance is, and what may be the underlying issue in the way of couple time. A reader emailed me the following question: “Many dads and moms, especially those that work full-time, are torn by guilt when it comes to time allocation. They have been away from the kids so long during the working week that the weekends MUST be spent with them. Result: There is simply NO couple-time. Any suggestions?” One thing that is often not realized by parents is that a happy and harmonious marriage is one of the greatest gifts they can give to their children. …

Healing Anger and Violence in Our Society

I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. All this experience has resulted in the development of a profound six-step healing process, called Inner Bonding, which anyone can learn and use throughout the day (FREE course available – see resource box). The violence in Littleton, Colorado sparked many discussions regarding the cause of such horrifying behavior on the part of two teenage boys. I would like to address this in terms on Inner Bonding. In my experience, it is not possible for us as human beings to be violent when we are connected to our true, core Self and to a source of spiritual guidance. When we do the …

Helping New Parents and Infants Transition

Of all the research done on childcare and early childhood education you’d think someone would do studies on the fear that make couples looney in the head after they become parents. The biggest thing for a new parent is fear. Fear of what they would do if anything happened to their little Johnny or little Sue. This advice was given to them by their loving and caring family, friends, experts and professionals that never had a child. Truly all of that wonderful advice was meant to help the new parents, but it set off a stampede of stuff inside of them even they didn’t know they had. So for three months they are homebound with their new baby while entertaining …

How to Listen to Your Teenager without Appearing to Have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)

In one of the Family Circus cartoon strips, the little girl looks up at her father, who is reading the newspaper, and says, “Daddy, you have to listen with your eyes as well as your ears.” That statement says almost all there is to say about listening. Being a good listener means focusing attention on the message and reviewing the important information. Listening can be considered an art, as well as a skill, and like other skills, it requires that you exhibit some discipline to be effective. However, in today’s world where multitasking is considered essential to surviving in the workplace, it is not uncommon to be talking on the phone while we are reading mail or sending e-mail, and …

4 Blocks to Building a Lifelong Relationship with Your Daughter

As with every generation, mothers and daughters share a special bond. Though one is not quite a woman and one, in many ways, is still no longer a girl – they each bear the qualities of each other. Little girls want to grow up fast, and dear sweet moms want to regain their youth. Mothers also know how important it is to be a good role model for their daughters. So, with only the best of intentions, moms and daughters travel their journeys through life. It is every mother’s hope that their daughter grow to be strong, independent, caring, and giving. A mother’s dream is to enjoy the fruits of her labor (no pun intended) …to know that her daughter …