Parenting the Attachment Challenged Child

There is much literature on how to parent challenging children these days. Unfortunately much of that literature does not typically address the child with special parenting needs and a special parenting understanding. A child that has been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder, oppositional defiant disorder,or even depression, requires an understanding not of the behavior itself,but rather of the underlying dynamics driving the behavior. Take for example the analogy of an iceberg. Typically when we refer to an iceberg we are referring to what we see above the surface. However, 90% of every iceberg is invisible, lying under the surface. What you consider to be an iceberg is really only the tip. It’s an overwhelming thought when considering how enormous an …

Parrots to Poets — Its all in learning to say words

A ready reckoner for you to check your child’s development As a parent you may spend many anxious moments worrying whether your child is developing well, whether anything is wrong, or worrying about illnesses or learning disabilities. Well, most developmental articles or charts are just general reference points. Some babies grow and pass each stage quickly while others develop slower but do catch up. So, don’t fret if John has not said “ ba, ba or da, da,” when your neighbor’s child born a few days later already has. Every baby is like a sponge and receptive to things in his or her immediate environment. A baby who has people talking and interacting with him or her all day long …

Parents Supporting Adult Children?

How does that grab you? If you noticed this, maybe it’s because you are one of millions of older parents out there today, that are still supporting your adult child or children. Hey, they’ve been through college. They’ve gotten that position with a fairly good company. Maybe it’s not their final goal in that career they wanted, but it’s a start. And the expectations of the salary they thought would be guaranteed, well it’s not that great. Now, almost right away, the new car came into the picture. The cell phone and cable TV… well, they are real needs, maybe more than food. The rent at their apartment keeps going up. Many other expenses keep popping up. The student loan …

Parents Dealing with Worry and Fear

This column offers solutions to people who write in questions about how they can solve their life challenges through the formula described in the books, Way of the Positive Flow and Positive Flow Parenting, by Lawrence Vijay Girard Please send your questions to Submissions@FruitgardenPublishing.Com Parents Dealing with Worry and Fear by Lawrence Vijay Girard Dear Vijay, I worry about not being a good parent. My daughter Tracy is six and my son Michael is four. They seem happy. Our family does things together. It is just that with so much that seems to be going wrong in the world, I fear that something will go wrong at home. Hope you can help me, M.J. Dear M.J., This really isn’t a …

My Child Steals

Parents need to know that it is very common and normal for children under the ages of four and five to take things that do not belong to them without understanding the concept of stealing. Children need to be taught lessons in personal property and not taking something without permission. Children under the age of five are generally self-centered and their primary focus is often seeing and taking what they want. That’s why parents need to begin teaching their child the manners involved in asking permission to take, borrow or use someone else’s belongings. Parents who overlook these important lessons often receive embarrassing phone calls from their child’s school, youth programs or neighbors in regards to their child’s theft issues. …

Parenting Styles – Overcoming Your Differences

If you spend any time in the parenting section of the library or your local bookstore, you will find hundreds of books on disciplining and raising your children. All the leading experts have their own ideas about what works and what doesn’t. As a parent, you have your philosophy that you bring to the table. Most of your thoughts come from what you learned as a child. You either liked the way your parents raised you, agreed with some of it and disagreed with the rest, or didn’t like any part of your parents’ ideas. Then you talk to or watch other mothers you know and these ideas get added to the mix. You take the best from all these …

Overweight Children – What Can A Parent Do To Help? Part 1 Of 5

The latest figures released in the US state that 15 percent of children and teenagers are now considered overweight, up from 6% 20 years ago. Statistics in the UK are similar, and rising. Whilst children starve in Africa, kids in the Western world are lining up to suffer a frightening array of weight-related illnesses, including skin and joint problems, early osteoporosis, type II diabetes, bowel cancer, high blood pressure, heart attack and strokes. Recent research also suggests that obese kids are 77% more likely to suffer from asthma. And of course in a world where TV, movies, teenage sitcoms and advertising all promote the ideal image and the “fat kid” is often mocked and made the butt of all the …

Oh, you’re good for nothing

I don’t believe in good for nothing. I was walking down the aisle of a large supermarket when I heard a mother hissing to her crying child, “Good for nothing! Nothing! You better stop this now or I will leave you with the police man”. Not that I am angel when it comes to being a parent to my kids. Sometimes, I falter too and I will yell and shout and throw a massive, scary temper and my kids would cower in fright thinking that their mom was going crazy. Hey, I am human, amn’t I? But I would never call my kids stupid or good for nothing. For one thing, I sincerely believe that education is important – but …

Make Cleanup Time Fun For Moms And Toddlers

Each day, toddlers everywhere enjoy playtime activities that engage their natural curiosity and allow them to demonstrate their fun-loving enthusiasm. But as every parent knows, when the playtime ends, the much-needed task of cleanup begins. Moms can help toddlers ease cleanup time hesitation by incorporating engaging games, fun and imagination into the process. A nationwide survey revealed that 98 percent of moms would like to team up with their toddlers to be actively involved in the cleanup process and help them learn good hygiene habits. Because they are working together as a team, 9 out of 10 moms agree that bath time can be a special one-on-one bonding time. In fact, 92 percent of moms make a point to engage …

Love, Food, and Kids

Forty years ago I became very interested in health and nutrition. I had been a sickly child and I had hated being sick. As a low-energy young adult, I had decided to do something about my health, so after reading some wonderful books on nutrition, I proceeded to completely change what I ate. I started to shop at the only little health food store in Los Angeles – Whole Foods was years away! I threw out all packaged food and ate only natural, fresh organic products – when I could get them. I made a decision that if people didn’t eat something 100 years ago, I wasn’t going to eat it now. I was extremely pleased with the improvement in …

Keeping Your Breast Milk Healthy

Expecting a baby? You must be in a state of bliss, yet confounded by multiple choices. One of the toughest decisions you will have to make: Bottle feeding or Breastfeeding? Despite all the information available on the pros and cons, the final decision is yours. What is right for someone else might not be right for you. Here is some help to make your decision. The strong case for breast feeding Most pediatricians advocate breast milk as the perfect food for a baby and indeed it is all that she needs for the first six months. It is easy to digest. It contains unique disease fighting antibodies, an exclusive blend of nutrients, hormones and enzymes that promote growth and development. …

Jump Start the Grey Cells in your child

Centuries ago, midwives and mothers advised pregnant women to stay happy, listen to music, be around nature, and embrace good health. Now advanced research in child development shows that brain development in children does not occur after birth but begins in the womb itself. Sharpen the Intellect Thinking skills are the most crucial in the technological world of today. Educators firmly believe that it is not the volume of knowledge but the ability to assimilate and make sense of information that is essential. Children must know how to find solutions to problems and situations. The goal of education is to teach children to be effective thinkers —as you know, this is what equips them to stay ahead in situations where …

Learning To Apply Information

There are many definitions of intelligence, but the one I have learned in high school claimed that intelligence in nature is the ability of an animal or a human to use the information they have learned. I have also read about the idea that there are several levels of learning. The lowest level of learning, is just memorizing the material and being able to “regurgitate” it in the same term it was presented, and the highest levels of learning are the learning styles that use the material in other contexts, and the learning style that builds on top of the material learned. For example, when you teach your child about addition, and he immediately understands the concept of subtraction. Or …

Help! My Breastfed Baby Spits Up Frequently

Q: My breastfed baby spits up frequently. Is there something I’m eating that could be causing this? Could it be reflux? Or is this normal? A: If your baby is spitting up, even if it’s a frequent occurrence, it’s rarely a sign of a serious problem. In fact, “In a healthy baby,” according to the late Dr. Gregory White, previously a medical advisor to La Leche League, “spitting up is a laundry problem, not a medical problem.” If your baby is gaining weight properly and otherwise developing normally, you probably have nothing to worry about, and likely the problem will lesson and eventually go away by the time baby is a year old. Still, it can be disconcerting if your …

Healthier Parenting: 5 Ways Parents Can Help Children Lead Healthy Lives

Believe it or not, you impart a legacy of health to your children that goes well beyond the genes you give them. You also pass along health beliefs and model health-related choices. Here are 5 tips that will set your kids up on a path towards a healthy life. 1. Instill a sense of wonder about the body. Many adults fear and distrust their bodies. They believe that the body is fragile, and illness is just around the corner. The myth that you will catch a cold if you go outside without a coat persists. Your kids are listening when you look in the mirror and say to no one in particular, “I’m so fat.” The truth is your body …

Is It Okay to Spoil Your Kids?

None of us want “spoiled” kids – kids who are bratty, self-centered, demanding, inconsiderate. So, what spoils children and what doesn’t? When I was raising my children, I was often told that I would spoil them if I didn’t let them cry – if I held them a lot. Fortunately, I didn’t believe this nonsense. You can’t spoil a child with love. Children need love as much as they need food and water. The problem is in defining “love.” We are not giving love to our children when we give them everything they want on the material level. Parents often think they are loving their children when they pile them up with all the toys or activities they desire, but …