Parenting

This article on parenting is by a practicing relationship counsellor/therapist, and father. The following suggestions will be useful for any parent or caregiver who wants to improve their relationships with their children. In more extreme situations, many of the approaches will still be directly useful, and the overall approach is a guide for what the extreme situation needs to come back to. It would also be very useful to attend relationship and/or family counselling to uncover the deeper sources of any family conflict. Main points: Often, it is the unresolved trauma or early needs in the parents or caregivers that set up the behaviour and feelings of the child, so an absolutely necessary first step is for the caregiver to …

Parent Coaching as a Career

We often observe parents who are impatient, angry or exasperated because life nowadays is stressful and hectic. This has made parenting and raising a child a tough and confusing issue at times. How does a parent meet all demands of life and still always be available for your child? How do you deal with issues like discipline, sibling rivalry and unhealthy eating habits? How do you make sure that what you are doing as a parent is appropriate and successful parent coach can answer all these questions. Parent Coach A parent coach is a trained and certified professional who empowers families to resolve conflict and find answers to their issues. Since coaching is about relationships, the main focus is on …

Overcoming Fear Of The Dark

“I’m at my wits’ end. I just don’t know what to do with her.” This comment came, not from a parent whose teenage daughter was causing havoc, but from one whose teenager was still experiencing fear of the dark. And the problem was getting worse rather than better. The fear was also affecting the girl’s school life. She lacked confidence in herself, was exceptionally timid, and was easily threatened by new experiences. A parenting nightmare! Yet our kids have very few fears when they are born. Fear of falling and fear of loud noises are the main ones, and the rest are learned as they grow older. A conversation with the mother soon revealed that the girl had “always had …

Oppositional Defiant Disorder Treatment

About a year ago I wrote an article on Oppositional Defiant Disorder discussing the condition, symptoms and treatment options. This article is an update describing what is new. -Introduction Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is a psychiatric behavior disorder that is characterized by aggressiveness and a tendency to purposefully bother and irritate others. These behaviors cause significant difficulties with family and friends and at school or work. -Description Oppositional defiant children show a consistent pattern of refusing to follow commands or requests by adults. These children repeatedly lose their temper, argue with adults, and refuse to comply with rules and directions. They are easily annoyed and blame others for their mistakes. Children with ODD show a pattern of stubbornness and frequently …

Nurtured by Love or Matured by Nature?

“There is nothing new under the sun,” states Ecclesiastes 1:9. This is certainly true of the nature-nurture debate, the modern name for the ageless argument about the importance of learning in the development of the child. While one side argues that the development of the child is mainly a process of maturation, with learning playing no more than a supportive role, the other side maintains that learning determines the entire course of a child’s future. The wise king Solomon certainly supported the nurture assumption when he stated in Proverbs 22:6, “Train the child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” The famous French philosopher Jean Jacques Rousseau, on the other …

Non-Violent Educational Toys

The key to choosing the right toy for your child is in developing on their strengths and learning style. When choosing the proper educational toys for our child’s development, some of the first questions we need to ask is, Are they non-violent? and, Do they send the proper message? Unfortunately it is nearly impossible to keep our children completely away from all the weapon wielding animals and shop-aholic mall-dolls they’ll see as they are more and more influenced by media and peers. That being said, we as parents do have complete control over their environment during the first and most crucial developmental years of their young lives. And, there are a number of criteria we need to take into consideration …

Nature versus Nurture

The nature vs. nurture debate is one of the biggest debated issues in the child development theory. Which has more bearing on a child’s development, environment or genetics? This debate is “of the degree to which environment and heredity influences behavior” (Feldman, 2003) and whether “a child’s development is governed by a pattern built in at birth”, which is Nature, or whether it is shaped by experiences after birth”, defined as Nurture (Bee, 2000). No theorist has quite yet determined which of the two define a person’s actual behavior style, their have been many disputes whether one theory has the most influence, but no actual determination of the best theory. The Nature vs. Nurture debate has brought most theorists, researchers …

Alison’s Journey Home: An Adoption Story – Part 2

Once signed up with my agency, I received the information on their Russian program and instructions for assembling my dossier compiled into a red binder. At the time (July 1999), the only region Focus on Children worked with in Russia was Vladivostok, in the Russian Far East. I started learning about that region while assembling my dossier. The process of putting together my dossier took three months. It included sending away to New York for three official, certified copies of my birth certificate. The other elements were: -12 photos of my home, family, child’s bedroom, community, school, etc. -The aforementioned home study, plus copies of the home study agency license and the social worker’s individual license. -Letter of medical approval …

Adult ADHD Drug Use Skyrockets

The Strattera television depicted a distracted man forgetting his car keys, arriving late to appointments and failing to complete work assignments on time. In the forefront of many adults’ minds was, “Yeah, I can relate.” Today more and more adults are looking at their newly diagnosed ADHD children and seeing a bit of themselves in the symptoms. More and more adults are looking at the ADHD advertising aimed toward adults and putting the pieces of a distracted childhood into perspective. And today, more and more adults are flocking to the doctors office looking for help in managing their ADHD symptoms. In fact, according to recently released data from Medco Health Solutions, one of the countries largest prescription benefit manager, adult …

A Parent’s Instruction Manual

Just when we seem to have parenting techniques that work with the first child we discover that they don’t work with the next. Wouldn’t it be great if children were born with instructions? When you understand your children’s perceptual styles, you’ll discover they really are born with an “instruction manual.” Each of us is a unique combination of the Four Perceptions: Audio, Feeler, Visual, and Wholistic. When children are born, they are 100 percent Feelers. Although they will continue to have sensitive feelings during their formative years, their primary Perception will begin to reveal itself when they’re about six months old. The following is an excerpt of a story that reveals how differently the child behaves based on his primary …

A Minute Can Turn into Hours for the Child of a Work-at-Home Mom

In theory, working at home is an ideal situation. But in reality, it’s difficult to balance the needs of your family with the needs of your clients. Phones, fax machines and e-mails have no common courtesy, nor does your client really care about your personal situation. You are simply a means to an end consisting of a telephone number, an e-mail address and a 1099 at the end of the year. For the most part, you are not afforded special considerations and must respond to their needs or your business will suffer. Long before I began my career as a writer, I was already a work-at-home mom. I provided outsourcing solution to a variety of clients, which included bookkeeping, personnel …

A Cavity, an Astronaut’s Mask, and a Date at McDonald’s

It’s been almost two years since I last attempted to take my son William to the dentist. Until then, I had no idea a kid could clench his jaws shut with such steely determination. On the second and last try, the dentist managed to count his teeth – but she lost a pair of plastic sunglasses in the deal and William left with teeth no cleaner than they’d been when we arrived. William’s four now, and what a difference a year or two can make! I knew we’d turned a corner when he let me brush his teeth with the Rota-dent™, which looks and sounds a bit like the polishing brush dentists use. In fact, about a month ago, he …

911 Internet Savvy For Parent’s Part I

The internet could be considered an entry into a brave new world for this millennium. To be successful in this world you must have access and knowledge of how to use the internet. Children that are able to use the internet will be better prepared for high school, college and the job market. Lawrence J. Magid of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children states, “millions of people are now going online to exchange electronic mail (E-mail) and instant messages; participate in chat groups; post and read messages in newsgroups, which are sometimes called bulletin boards; “surf” the world wide web; and many other online activities. Children are no exception in fact they are more likely to be online …

Say NO to Ritalin! The Indigo/ADD/ADHD Child’s Diet

It’s the dreaded Child Split Personality Syndrome – you’ve witnessed it but are you aware that you could possibly be the culprit of it all?! Unknowingly of course. Let me set the scene. Breakfast which consisted of bagels, with butter and jam, a bowl of sugary filled cereal and a glass of artificial fruit punch to wash it down, was finished only moments before. Your innocent, sweet, calm, cool and collected children have relocated to the wreck room and are sitting on the couch watching their favorite television show, giggling and playing cheerfully together. As you stand there observing your delightful bundles of joy you can not deny the feelings of love that wash over you. You are so delighted …

Responding to Criticism Without Being Defensive

In an actual war, to be attacked means to have our survival threatened. Thus, we might chose between surrender, withdrawal, or counterattack. When we feel attacked (criticized or judged) by others in conversation, we often move into that same kind of survival mentality and automatically defend ourselves. But conversation is different than war. When we defend against criticism, we give more power to the criticism and the person dishing it out than is warranted. While we might need to set some limits if someone is verbally abusive, I think we often ward off criticism far too soon, discarding anything that is valid, as well as what is invalid. The person’s words may hurt, but they will hurt less, I think, …

Remember The

The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children is as old as.. well, parents having children. It’s not an easy job, either for the parent or the child. But, the key to any relationship inside or outside the family is the ability to relate; to have an empathy that allows us a slightly special way in which we can communicate with one another in order to understand, and to be understood. We make friends because of the similarities we may have in certain areas and we sometimes can build lifelong relationships on that basis. But, having children means we do not have a choice to make that relationship as we might have in meeting a perfect stranger. It’s …